Ditched

So, I know I have you all just dying to know how my date went. Allow me to update you.

It didn’t go.

Ah, yes. What an entrance back into the dating world. I got ditched. After we discussed a venue/day, I texted to ask about time and he all but fell off the face of the earth. Something I said? I do believe it may have to do with the fact that I have a child.

But you know what? That’s ok. R and I are a package deal, and if you can’t handle it, I can’t handle you. Although, I should say it’s slightly disheartening. I’m a mom and that’s a huge part of my life, but it’s not the only part of me. Take some time to get to know me first before you judge. I think this will be a challenge that I’ll face for sure.

I do think it’s different for guys with a child. My ex has my son every other weekend, at best. Meaning, his schedule allows him the freedom to pick up and go when he pleases, make weeknight dates without worrying about a sitter. And although I’d never want it any other way, it makes his ease of dating just a little easier. He essentially plays house every other weekend and that’s it.

He has a girlfriend. He’s had one since not long after we split. Obviously, it came easy to him and I think that has to do with the fact that he escaped the ordeal unscathed. Not only am I skeptical about getting into another relationship, I’m skeptical of putting my heart back out on the line. Relying on someone else to define my happiness. Because, if we’re being honest, I’m more than a little broken. My heart is barely whole and I’m not certain it can handle being smashed to pieces again.

I’ve been talking to a few other guys. One in particular. We’ll see how far it goes. For now, there’s only one boy with my heart. He likes trains, bugs and hates vegetables, but he sure is cute.