First Dates

Dating post-divorce is kind of tricky. I mean, dating post-any relationship is tricky I suppose.

My (now ex) husband and I met in college, and you know how dating is in college. You hang out in each other’s dorm rooms, drink beers, play drinking games, eat together in the cafeteria and if you want to get really fancy, go to Applebee’s on a Friday night. First dates weren't filled with awkward small talk. You usually started in a group with no pressure. Pretty easy.

Also, guys were plentiful in college. You knew where to find the single ones. Class. Bar. School events. Clubs. You get the idea.

That all being said, we got together when I was 20. If you do the math (ok, I’ll do it for you,) it’s been 11 years since I’ve been on a first date.

Enter dating post-divorce with a child. Could things get any more complicated? Probably, but this seems complicated enough for now. Lucky for me, there’s the World Wide Internet Webs chock-full of dating websites where people in my situation (and weird people) can meet each other with no pressure. Then decide if you’d like to take it a step further and <<gasp>> meet in person.

After a year and a half of no dates/not even being interested in seeking any kind of relationship short or long term, I guess I finally hit the point where I felt like it was time to have a looksee at what the outside world had to offer. So, being that I get out so much <<eye roll>> I signed up for this SUPER fun and addicting (and free) online dating app (with encouragement from friends and prosecco) called Tinder. If you’re single and ready to mingle, do yourself a favor and sign up, even if it’s just for the sheer entertainment of it all.

In theory, Tinder is ridiculously superficial. Essentially, you pick an age range and location, link to your Facebook account and you’re off. You’re presented with pictures of peeps matching your settings and a mere 400 character description. Swipe right if you like them, left if you don’t. If you both like each other, you get a fun chime and you’re a MATCH. Then you can talk to each other in this really inconvenient chat function. And if you hit it off with someone, you exchange numbers and then maybe you go on a date.

So, yeah. I just finished up the exchange of numbers/getting to know each other text talk and am setting out on my first first date in 11 years this weekend. He’s 28. Just call me Cougar. We’re headed to a winery for a little tasting/tour and to share a glass. A wise friend once told me to not agree to dinner for the first date because if you don’t hit it off, you’re stuck with their company for at least 2 hours. Good advice, I’d say.

Once setting up said date, I got all teenage girl and had a minor meltdown. But what do I wear? What do I do when we meet? Hug? Cheek kiss? Hand shake? Butt slap? Fist bump? Who pays? Do I offer to pay?  Am I overthinking this? Thank goodness this is a first date that involves wine, because I think we can all come to the conclusion I need a glass to relax my nerves. Wish me the best of luck.